Home Again, Safe and Sound???

I have returned from my summer adventure. It has been over a month since my return but I was swept into the furry of life back here in America so intensely that I have just now been able to update my blog. It is wonderful to be back with friends and family; traveling away helped to refresh my perspective. It is so easy for me to slump into a constant pattern of living that I needed something to break me out of the constraints of the American culture. If you detect an undertone of criticism and frustration; if you share a concern about the constricting capitalistic society that is creeping around the globe, then please help me. I am thrashing in a furry of discontent. Well, that sounds a tad dramatic, but I guess it is true. As I evolve out of this summer experience, I would like to convert this blog into a dialog about cultivating peace, celebrating change, about living consciously. Any thought?

Tip Top Of Africa ~ Climbing Kilimanjaro

Kilimanjaro: the highest point in Africa and the tallest volcano in the world. Okay, I stated this to brag a bit and make it sound like a physical triumph, but in all honesty the true challenge was in conquering my mind and in unleashing my will. The name Kilimanjaro means impossible journey. Yet, when I took my first step upon the trail I felt an excitement stir deep within me; a connection to the majestic nature arround. Kilimanjaro is a strong, wise woman who led me on a journey to claim those qualities within. I stepped along the length of her anciet, womenly body and climbed slowly up the length of her spine, moving into a sense of harmony. As I became deeply in tune to my body, I was able to change the channel of judgment and censorship that has dominated my self perception. How sad is it that it took harsh external conditions in order to make me turn inwards and self nurture. Liberation came from thrusting myself at the mercy of the mountain for struggle is a decadent sweetness on the pallet of self-determination. And how focused my determination was! I turned a dream into a reality and reached the top by never letting my mind entertain anything other than success. On the 2nd of August, 2007 and 7:50am I stood on top of Africa and breathed in the view; and now I have mountains beyond mountain to climb!

Human Transit

Mass amounts of people riding bicycles, pushing carts, hanging off the back of trucks, crammed onto minibuses, lounging in Mercedes, piled on top of garbage trucks, and . . . walking! I saw an old man today with the most callused feet, they almost looked like hoofs. A life of never feeling the comforts of shoes. People in motion. The graceful dance of humans in transit. I am amazed by the amount of stuff Rwandans can stack on top of their heads, yet still maintain amazing posture. I jumped out of the gate this morning to see a young women balancing a bible on top of her head as she strapped her baby to back. Religion in Rwanda, that is another topic I hope to cover soon, but I have to run now!~

Naming Ceremony, Development, and Daily Living

Farewell dinner at the house of an inspirational woman: Gasana Mutesi. Gasana is the ripe young age of 27 and has received her masters; started her own NGO helping to heal the minds, bodies and sprits of orphaned youth in Rwanda; given birth to two children; adopted five more children; works full time for the Rwanda Bauer of Statistics; and is married to a gold medalist runner! Gasana has connections with everybody who is anybody in Rwanda. Present at the dinner the famous Rasta Rwandan singer, Nady Dread. His dreadlocks are almost as old as me; his lovely locks are 20yrs young. Nady insisted we all receive Rwanda names. I was given the name of Mutoni which means something like: dearly loved and seated close to heaven. It also happened to be the name of a cow owned by Nady on his organic, environmentally sustainable farm in Uganda.

I have two days left in Rwanda and I am starting to realize that this enduring country has crawled beneath my skin. It is a tumultuous relationship though. Daily I experience things that make my stomach turn and my heart ache at the same time. The natural beauty of the country, as one example, brings peace to my soul. Yet, then I look more deeply at the terraced landscape covered with agricultural crops, the thick smog hanging in the air, the litter scattered about . . . the utter devastation of development. This country is panting to keep up with a 3.2% population increase in what is already the most densely populated and one of the poorest countries in African. They are racing to develop, but what does development mean: advancement, environmental destruction, a standardization of culture? There is a shopping center in the center of Kigali which we have termed “Muzungo Land” of white man’s land. It is swarming with Westerners who are here to do research, to vacation, to develop Rwanda! Cross cultural exchange is vital to our global society, but I am becoming a skeptic on development. Rwanda is receiving a great deal of international aid and they are talking about sustainability and development by the year 2020. They are racing and panting. It is an amazing duality of looking at a country which is trying to develop in two realms: Rwanda is developing its post genocide capacity while also trying to meet the UN Millennium Development Goals. Conflict and poverty are in such an intimate dance; to address the roots of genocide is to address global poverty, and the question of how to address poverty and development still remains

Today, a typical day, consisted of waking up to the soft singing of the nuns in morning prayer, a delicious pot of African Tea at a nearby restaurant, meeting with the director of Fight Illiteracy Youth Organization, interviewing the director of an orphanage, helping to write a family planning proposal with Health Development Initiative, crowding onto a mini bus to go downtown, weaving through a local market and holding on tightly to my money belt, negotiating a bus ticket to Nairobi with a women who would nod every once in a while to confirm that she was actually alive, blowing my nose to find black snot, being serenaded by honking horns as I dash across the relentless traffic, and all the while walking everywhere and hearing calls of “Good Morning Muzungo! (white person)”

Rwanda as a Solo Female!

I am making it sound more impressive than it really is. I made a couple of wonderful friends during the delegation and we are staying together, keeping one another company. Right now I am living in a hostel called Centre Chirstus. It is a beautiful nunnery with cows grazing around and a small memorial tucked in the corner. Only four days and I am departing from Rwanda! It is going to be difficult to leave; I have been bitten by the Rwandan bug. From Rwanda I will travel through Uganda, Kenya, and on to Tanzania with two of my dear girlfriends Sam and Laura. The three of us are going to visit the International Criminal Tribunal for Rwanda (ICTR) in Arusha, Tanzania. This is the UN based court dealing with the main orchestrates of the Rwandan Genocide. It will be fascinating to compare the international tribunals to the local Gacaca courts. What is involved in reconciliation at both a local and international level? After exercising our intellect at the ICTR, Laura and will exercise our legs and our wills as we attempt to summit Mt. Kilimanjaro! Don’t worry, I promise to take lots of pictures. So, that is an update of my travel itinerary.

Ideas in Action!

Well, a month has come and gone. My program with GYC ends today and I am out to create my own adventure! During our time in the delegation, we filled our heads with knowledge, our minds with experience, and our heats with compassion. We are a now buzzing with how to put action to behind our thoughts. My fellow delegates look at the world with realistic optimism; I was inspired and humbled by them. I want to share with you all some of our action plans!

• Delegates are working with a Rwandan NGO called Amahoro Great Lakes to create a sister school program between Rwandan school and American schools. The idea is that we will use curricular information about Rwanda in American schools to raise awareness and to connect youth from both countries. We hope that youth in America will take interest in helping to raise funds for the impoverished Rwandan schools and that American youth will additionally work to generate a greater understanding about human rights around the world.
• Another related project idea is looking to raise funds for a scholarship program to help send qualified Rwandans to university. We would also like to extend this fundraising project to an orphan population with whom we all fell in love. Uyisenga N'Manziis a village for orphans of the genocide or HIV/Aids. It is distinctly different from an orphanage in the sense that the individuals become the heads of their households and learn autonomous living (I was impressed and slightly embarrassed as I thought of my recent return to living at home as an "adult"). We hope to help sponsor some of these orphans through school.
• A pressing issue in Rwanda is a high illiteracy rate. Illiteracy and ignorance played a destructive role in allowing the genocide propaganda to spread quickly and effectively. Fight Illiteracy Youth Organization is committed to promoting literacy and cultivating critical thinking. Yet, due to a lack of funding FIYO has had to close down eight of their literacy centers in the past year. Last year's GYC delegation put together a documentary on FIYO's work and this year we are hoping to hold screenings across America to help raise funds to keep the literacy centers up and running. It is estimated the $12.50USD will put a student through an eight month literacy course. Oh, and did I mention that FIYO also provides it's students with vocational skills like the fuel efficient stoves I mentioned in a previous blog entry!
• Some of us are teaming up to write a curriculum on peace and reconciliation for high school/middle school students. This idea was inspired by an innovative organization, Radio LaBenevolencia, which uses a radio soap opera to talk about pre and post genocide Rwanda. LaBenevolencia is sponsored by the psychology department at Yale University and is based strongly on the principles presented in a book called, "Roots of Evil" by Ervin Staow(sp?). I love the idea of using drama and fiction to discuss human conflict, even basic conflict between adolescents in the hallways of American schools.

Well, a lot of ideas. I am glad that I still have some time in Rwanda! I invite ideas, comments and a critical analysis of our proposals. Many of them are focused on fundraising, unfortunately, but we are really trying to promote education and to cultivate awareness.

Maramutzi (Good Night)

Thank You!

I have been sitting with a handful of tissue, reading everyone's responses. I feel so much love, support, and encouragement, thank you all! My heart has been refilled and my spirit revitalized. It is so wonderful that technology can connect us across continents. I would like to try and respond to individual comments so bare with me. To start off, Allison, the kids appreciate the soccer balls more than you can ever imagine! Here, they wrap up plastic bags very tightly and tie them in a ball. This acts as their soccer ball so you can imagine how excited they were to get a fancy new soccer ball. Allison, you have given months, maybe years of laughter and fun to children in Africa. Rwanda is trying to put together an Olympic soccer team (or football as they call it here) so who knows, some of the children to whom you gave a soccer ball may even grow up to be famous soccer players! This just shows how an small idea like a penny drive turns into something big; a little love and consideration goes a long way. Allison, Cindy, Dezarey, Dakota, Andrea, LiLiana, Ashley, Adrian, Richie, RoniLee, Melissa, Becca, Janie, Ralynne, Kyle, Gabriel, Erendida, Ana and all of the Passage Charter School students are angles of love here in Rwanda. I am so proud to tell Rwandans about the your efforts in raising funds and awareness for Rwanda! Thank you!

In response to the Murambi Memorial. I have been tossing and turning about the event and about my blog entry. I fear that I sensationalize the genocide when describing the memorial; focusing on number and horrific descriptions. This feels insensitive, but I need to try and show through my words the unbelievable atrocity that occurred. If everyone were to see, smell, hear, and feel what went on in Rwanda 13yrs ago I think we would all step back and analyze our role as global citizens. On a more personal level though, as I live in this sensitive society, I can't help but reflect on my personal actions. Every action we take, every word we speak has an effect. If we all are conscious of how we are impaction those around us, we just might begin to create waves of change. One by one, humans can move towards a more compassionate, considerate, respectful, and peaceful existence. There are plenty of times during the day when I become frustrated by the crowd around me pushing and shoving, or the taxi that is crammed full of 17 sweaty and smelly bodies, or the restaurant that takes two hours to prepare my dinner. All eyes are on me though, looking to see how I can respond. I did not intend for this sound preachy. It's just that being in another country, a country that has experienced the worst of conflict, and on a continent which has been labeled as uncivilized has helped me to feel the meaning of humanity and of a human existence. From conflict may we learn to appreciate peace; from death may we learn to value life; from anger may we learn to act with compassion and understanding.

Back to the memorial topic. As I walk through one memorial after another I wonder who the memorials are for and what message they are trying to send. Some of the memorials are in memory of those who lost their lives; others are to be a shocking memorial of the actions taken out by the killers. The later memorials do not seem to be for Rwandans or for morning, they seem to call upon the conscious of the world. When I am as these sites I feel angry and guilty. Angry at the human potential for evil, angry that the world let this evil dominate, angry that situations of desperation that push people to act out violently still exist, angry that the privilege can make a big difference with little sacrifice, and guilty for being a human and for carrying this potential for anger, evil, and silence. I am not being silent now though. After experiencing Rwanda, I am going to shout until my voice becomes hoarse. You all are listening and I appreciate that more than I can express, but I hope that we can work together to put action behind our voices.

Speaking of voices, yesterday I heard the voice of political reconciliation. We had the privilege of attending a Gacaca. Gacaca is the ancient court method that Rwanda readopted to help deal with the vast number of perpetrators. Thirteen years later and they are still having hearings. The literal meaning of the word means something like grass, community and unity. The perpetrators are brought forth to be tried by their community. The purpose of a Gacaca is to bring unity and for the perpetrators to come forth and ask for forgiveness. It is one way that the people of Rwanda are healing deep wounds and looking for reconciliation. This paragraph does not do justice, but I am running out of time. Please ask questions because the intent of Gacaca is noble, but it also has its flaws.
My love to all! Amahoro, peace